Cleopatra or the Hair Club for Cats

Cleopatra is not just the chaircat of the Hair Club for Cats, she's also a member! Yes, the HCC has the widest selection of fine hair-replacements. Your caretakers won't see if it's real or not! It's amazing! Just look at her! Doesn't she look fluffy!

Oh, who am I kidding... It just doesn't work. Sorry, but Cleopatra asked me to promote her Hair Club for Cats. As you can she, she is hairless. No problem, I love her all the same. Cleo seems to think, however, that she is not as loveable and fluffy as haired cats. That's why she is always trying all kinds of wigs, pills, salves and concoctions to get some hair. The wig is one of her more succesful methods and it still looks terrible - but don't tell her I said that, she'd try to kill me.

A couple of weeks she tried the most terrible of solutions for her conditions. She had read somewhere that a special mix of rogaine and a special medecine used for cats having allergic reactions. So Cleo went out to go and make it. The rogaine wasn't a problem, it's fairly easy to acquire that around here. The cat-medecine was an entirely different ordeal. Our veterinarian, Dr. Elsbeth von Clawswird, refused to prescribe the medecine to Cleo. Why? First of all, Cleopatra doesn't have an allergy that causes her hair to fall out. And, more importantly, she's hairless, not bald. Sphinx Cats don't have the means to grow hair. A point Cleo refuses to understand.

Unluckily for us, Cleo had found out that this cat-medecine contained taurine. A simple solution formed in her mind: replace the medecin with something else that contains taurine. What has taurine in it? Indeed, Red Bull. She ordered out for it, a truckload of it. The cans cluttered up the house for weeks. That wasn't the worst of it, though. Oh no......

Cleopatra almost immediately started mixing the rogaine with the Red Bull. That was done quite quickly. Then she drank the mix. It's save to say that the rogaine had no effect at all. The Red Bull however had noticeable effects. Not hairgrowth, though. She couldn't sit still or sleep for weeks, convinced that if she drank enough of the 'cure', she'd grow hair. But instead she sped around wildly in every direction, attacking everything that even slightly startled her.

After she had clawed off the left arm of the mailman, I had enough of her antics. The other cats and I teamed together, one rainy Sunday afternoon and tried to calm her down. Eventually, after having destroyed the entire east wing of the mansion, we had her cornered. The other cats held her still, while I fired a dart with a powerful soporific at her. It hit and she fell asleep and spent days dreaming. I guess the taurine had worn her out, but kept her awake....